It was a sunny afternoon in March…. My phone rang and when I answered, I heard a computerized voice say “You have a collect call from in inmate at….” and then I heard his voice. In that moment, the memories hit me like a ton of bricks. The long telephone conversations we had back in high school, the after school meet-ups, all of the summer events we attended together…. It was a carefree, fun, and exciting time in our lives. Not a worry in the world. Somehow, we were here. He was calling me after all these years from fuckin … Continue reading Mr. Telephone Man ☎
Before I begin the next entry, I thought I’d break from my script of life and just….well…. I never imagined my life as an adult would be what it is today. I could have never thought up enough bullshit. I’ve gone through some of the most terrible pain….pain that I didn’t think I could survive. There were some days that I couldn’t physically function. I felt so weak, so broken. Stress, stress that I can’t control, literally drains me. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I spend every waking moment trying to figure out how to make things right. I … Continue reading Emotional Rollercoaster…
So, it didn’t work out. For whatever the reason, it just didn’t work out. I couldn’t change it, or fix it. I had to accept that and let it go. In the midst of my confusion and sadness, I took some time to reflect. Why had I chosen this lifestyle…did I make the right decision? It felt so right, and so freeing for SO long, it had to be right, right? I wasn’t so sure. A woman had hurt me more than any man had, up to that point. I had never felt pain so bad. I reconciled with myself. … Continue reading Unbreak My Heart…
Love can certainly be an amazing thing. I mean, you meet someone and you two connect. You laugh together, you’re excited to see them, you look forward to spending time with them and even just hearing their voice makes you smile. Time passes and you settle into a life together. All is well, hopefully….but things can change. Unfortunately there are times when you settle into life with someone and it becomes toxic chaos. There are arguments, cheating, maybe domestic violence, anger, mental abuse….and you stay. You stay because dysfunction has become your norm. Dysfunction becomes comfortable and you stay. It’s … Continue reading Disturbia….
A 4 year relationship ended overnight. Literally, overnight. The day before, we were happy, and in love….24 hours later, it was over. Everything fell apart over unwarranted jealousy and a somewhat hidden alcohol addiction. I knew she drank a lot, but she was very productive at work, she was light hearted and happy, she was never violent or “sloppy” drunk….she just drank, A LOT. She was a highly functioning alcoholic. THAT night, I came home from work to our house looking as if it had been burglarized. Furniture flipped upside down, clothes ripped from my closet, broken dishes, and her. She … Continue reading Stranger In My House….
Kissing is EXTREMELY important to me. It’s so intimate and personal. The act of kissing, to me, is an art form. If done correctly, it has the power to make the world right. I can feel it in other parts of my body. When done incorrectly, yeah….✌. I think that the perfect kiss is deep and passionate. There’s a bit of hesitation going in, as if to examine your partners mouth and to prep them for what’s to come. There should be some direct eye contact before impact is made. I personally tend to place my hand on the side … Continue reading Kiss From A Rose…. 💋
I’ve been married and divorced twice. The only good things that came from both of those situations were my children. I have 2, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. My marriages taught me that I am a very good wife. I know what I’m doing. My Mother was VERY domesticated, and she still is. I learned a lot about taking care of home, from her. Cooking, cleaning, handling finances, making sure that your partner is well cared for, compromise and sacrifice….yeah, all that! I was an excellent wife to both of my husbands, but the marriages … Continue reading Where I Wanna Be….
When I was a little girl, I didn’t have any grandiose dreams of what my life would be as an adult. I didn’t want a huge wedding, or kids. I just wanted to be an attorney…an entertainment attorney to be … Continue reading It Was All A Dream….
I’m a mother. A daughter. A sister. A friend. A girlfriend. My skin is passionately kissed by the sun. I’m professionally employed. Educated. I don’t run with a crowd, only a select few compose my circle. I love being the face of innocence to the outside world, but knowing that there’s a secret side to myself that very few know about. I’m the responsible kill joy in most situations….the voice of reason. I enjoy passion. Kissing. Touching. Loving. I write. Well. If ever a topic that I could write about, that I know more than anything about, it’d be myself. … Continue reading Allow Me To Introduce Myself….