So we wrote. We talked. We wrote some more. He filled in the blanks of his life away from me all of those years. He had done so much….seen so many things…..met so many people. He had changed. He was grown. Then there was me. A divorced, single mother of 1. Just living. Working. Supporting my daughter and trying to figure myself out. I hadn’t really been anywhere…done much of anything, but somehow he was intrigued by me. He listened intently. He was smart; still. Not like I expected him to ‘turn stupid’, but he was just so well spoken; still. We laughed, alot. We shared alot. I often fought the urge at the end of those calls to say, “I’ll see you later”….I was always reminded that, that wasn’t possible. He was thousands of miles away, behind bars.
I was grateful for his ‘presence’ in my life. He kept my mind busy. I was his link to the outside world….he was my link to the past. We played this game for over a month. It became a part of my daily life. I expected his calls, I anticipated his letters. I was the innocent, plain Jane with a man who was in the pen. Nobody knew…nobody except my sister.
My sister, 9 and a half years younger than I, was my confidant. To be completely honest, she still is. We don’t always agree, but she doesn’t judge me. I love her for that. I went to her, always excited about my conversations with him, and she was excited for me. I was falling in love with him, all over again. I felt like he was my soul mate. There was a reason he was back in my life. I didn’t want to lose him again….this time around, I knew where he was. A gift and a curse…..